Schlüger's New Diversity Program Celebrates Inclusion of People from All Ivy League Schools
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Schlüger Leads the Way in Corporate Diversity with Groundbreaking Ivy League Inclusion Initiative
PALO ALTO, CA, August 29, 2024 - Schlüger, the pioneering force in synergistic disruption solutions, is proud to announce its revolutionary new diversity program, "Ivies United." This cutting-edge initiative celebrates the inclusion of individuals from all eight Ivy League institutions, setting a new gold standard for elite diversity in the corporate world.
"At Schlüger, we've always believed that diversity is our strength," said Peter Uberholf, CEO of Schlüger and a proud Yale alumnus. "That's why we're committed to creating a work environment that embraces the unique perspectives of people from all walks of life - whether they went to Harvard, Princeton, or even Cornell."
The "Ivies United" program aims to foster a truly inclusive atmosphere by ensuring that Schlüger's workforce represents the full spectrum of Ivy League experiences. Key features of the program include:
- Quota System: Guaranteeing that at least 12.5% of new hires come from each Ivy League school, ensuring no institution is left behind.
- Ivy League Awareness Month: A full month dedicated to celebrating the diverse traditions of each Ivy, from Harvard-Yale boat races to Princeton's eating clubs.
- Affinity Groups: Establishment of support networks for underrepresented Ivy groups, such as the "Brown Bears in Tech" and "Dartmouth Survivors of Non-Snowy Winters."
- Diversity Training: Mandatory workshops on understanding the subtle differences between a Harvard and a Yale accent.
- Recruitment Initiatives: Partnering with Ivy League career centers to ensure Schlüger doesn't miss out on a single legacy admit.
"We recognize that true diversity goes beyond just the Big Three," explained Dr. Reginald Highbrow, Schlüger's newly appointed Chief Diversity Officer and a double legacy from Princeton. "That's why we're committed to giving equal opportunities to candidates from all Ivies, even if their school color is brown."
The program has already garnered praise from industry insiders. "Schlüger's initiative is a game-changer," commented Biff Buffington, editor of 'Elitism Today' magazine. "Finally, a company brave enough to tap into the most underrepresented group in Silicon Valley - Ivy League graduates."
To further demonstrate its commitment to diversity, Schlüger has pledged to expand its charitable giving. The company will now offer scholarships to underprivileged legacies who can't afford sailing lessons or gap year trips to Bali.
"We believe that by bringing together minds from all Ivy League institutions, we can solve the world's most pressing problems," Worthington added. "Like how to make our kombucha taps more energy-efficient, or which type of artisanal bread best represents our company values."
Schlüger's HR department, now rebranded as "Prestige Resources," will oversee the implementation of "Ivies United." All job applications will now require a minimum of three references from Ivy League professors and a 1000-word essay on "How My Ivy League Experience Makes Me More Diverse Than Other Ivy League Graduates."
The company expects this trailblazing approach to diversity will set a new industry standard, ushering in an era where companies compete not just on innovation and profit margins, but on the pedigree of their employees' alma maters.
About Schlüger: Schlüger is a visionary tech company specializing in revolutionary solutions to first-world problems. With a team of over 10,000 disruptors, innovators, and thought leaders (87% of whom have at least one degree from an Ivy League institution), Schlüger is committed to changing the world, one privileged perspective at a time.
For more information, please contact: Muffy Sinclair-Rothschild Executive Vice President of Prestigious Communications muffy.sinclair-rothschild@schluger.com (555) IVY-LEAG
